Fear

Have you ever been afraid?

Of course I have been anxious, surprised and all sorts of other feelings that we usually associate with fear. But I am not talking about those. I am talking about true fear. A fear so fierce that you wake up in the middle of the night with your heart pounding in your chest trying to gasp for air. I am talking about a fear where you are unable to make any clear thoughts come to mind and make any rational decisions. A fear so strong that it paralyzes you from any thoughts and actions and engulfs you completely with....FEAR.

I have. In the past few weeks things have been extremely crazy for us. So many things happened lately, such as the beginning of construction for our site, the loan that the bank has given us and the loan that we acquired from the Canadian Foundation of Young Entrepreneur. With all that good news, also comes the added pressure to deliver the "vision", with it also comes the responsibility of shouldering this project. So many things are coming at us from so many angles such as re-design, contract negotiation, over-budget, marketing, hiring, operation procedures and more, much more.

I have been afraid for quite sometimes and it has been very hard to share that with anyone. Before I go on I have to say this. I believe that our decision to go into a franchising business is the right thing, for me especially. I also believe in our mission statement and our vision. I believe that through hard work, good strategies and sound judgment we can put all the cards on our side to achieve success in our endeavours. I am also confident in the opportunity that offers OZEN to me and my family and also importantly to our communities.

Now back onto fear, I have been engulfed by fear, not self-doubt, but true fear,the fear of failure, the fear of the unknown. But ONE fear has kept me from sleeping these past few nights and has been bigger and much more prevalent in my life that any other fears that I have faced.

The fear of letting my family down.

What would happened to Melissa? What would happened to Alain? What would happened to my mom and dad? What would happened to my family? What would happened, what would happened....It's killing me. This fear has such a stronghold on me that I don't know what to do sometimes. I am literally paralyzed.

And here is the irony in all of this. This same fear that paralyzes me is also my motivation to persevere and succeed, simply because I have no other options. I work my butt off because there is no other way. I am not sure people realize it, or maybe they do. Maybe it is just me who thinks I should shoulder all of the world's problem? But I feel I must pursue and that my life's work will always be to provide this sense of security to those I love...and sometimes to my detriment.

I am enjoying the journey, as hard as it is to believe by reading this blog, I am learning, I am growing, I am changing, I am living.

But I would not do you a favour or be honest with you if I only wrote about the success or some obscure lessons that I learn through my journey.

It is not until a man sees himself in the mirror as he truly is that he can change and become the man he truly should be.

My fear is a constant motivator in my journey. Maybe one day I'll be able to let it go, until then I hope that you to will discover your fears and face them or release them.