Possibility vs. Positivity

I would like to share with you some thoughts I have been mauling over the past few days. The realm of possibility vs. the realm of positivity.

Looking back at my childhood, I discovered that my parents have instilled in us (my brothers and I) a deep sense of possibilities, but not necessarily of positivity.

I think it came from the fact that they left Vietnam to a country they knew very little about, leaving behind family and a life they had built for themselves to an unknown world because they saw the many possibilities that offered North America. It could have also been from the time my dad left a secure job with Sears to go into the restaurant business without any understanding of the business world because he knew that becoming your own boss would open doors to multitudes of opportunities, or when my dad shook my hand and sent me on my way to Calgary to start my own life and wished me "good luck", because he believed it was time for me to discover the world on my own and make my own journey . Or it may have come from even further back, when my grandfather and my grandmother built a successful store and business in Vietnam, because they understood that they were master of their destiny. In all cases, I always had an innate sense that anything was possible. Which is a very good thing when it comes to starting any project.

But I never was quite a positive person. You know the old question "Do you see the glass half full or half empty?" I always thought "just pour some water in it and the glass will be full or empty the glass and it will be completely empty, what is it about this half ass crap".

In the past few years I have met many people that were very positive people. I mean they were POSITIVE, sometimes too positive they became annoying. I don't know if they faked it, but I can assure you that to my eyes, THEY BELIEVED. And I looked at their life and kept saying to myself "these people have a lot of positive thinking, lots of hope", but was it enough to achieve their dream?

So, here is my take on positive thinkers. Positive thinkers have a high chance of becoming depressive..... don't get me wrong, being a positive person is much better than the alternative of being a negative person. But I learned something, our level of stress is DIRECTLY proportional to the gap between our present situation and the positive outcome that we envision. Therefore the shittier your situation is and the bigger your dream is, the HIGHER your stress will be. Furthermore, a positive person is someone who sees his or her situation in an optimistic, and more often than not, surrealistic view point, rather than simply realistic.

You tell yourself "What the heck are you talking about Duy? Every self-help guru out there says that we have to just keep on thinking positively", "Every experts in their field say think positive and the universe will conspire to make it real". I mean look at the amount of books out there, no wonder books like "The Secret" made a killing on the bestsellers list.

But to simply be a positive thinker is a far cry from reaching one's potential. However possibility thinking is slightly AND very different. While both have an innate sense of optimism, positivity looks at what is and spin it into an optimistic view point and the problems lies where the optimistic view point will hide the reality of the situation.

Possibility on the other hand looks at what is and extrapolate optimistic end results, which provides the beginning of a strategy to achieve one's goal.

One is not exclusive of the other one, meaning that it is not a matter of either - or, but rather it is subtle change in our reflection of a situation. Making possibility and not JUST positivity to be the motor running our thinking and strategic decisions.

As you start your projects or any endeavours: ask yourself "Do I see the possibilities rising from my situation?" or "Do I see the positive side my situation is giving me?". One will give you an plan to obtain and reach your goal, the other will make you smile and enjoy your present situation. Which is the one you seek??